but I swear it's exactly what it is...

This weekend I:

*Did my show, rocked it

*Went to some parties

*Formed an entirely new friendship circle

*Flipped my entire view of some really important stuff a full 360 degrees



I feel like a different person.

I am treacherous, mean, self-indulgent, and vain.

SHOW WEEK SHOW WEEK SHOW WEEK AHHHHHHHH :D

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SARAH'S COMING SARAH'S COMING I'VE MISSED HER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



...




AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! :D

...Actually, all I'd really have to do here is post that horrible new video of his (the song is something about...the end of the world... or something.) I really just don't even want to look at it again though.

I don't really care that much that he's no longer cool, but I care a tiny bit more than I would otherwise because I used to be a super ultra mega Manson fan, and being let down by someone you were super into is rather unfortunate. Although in the case of Manson, it's not unexpected I guess.

I think his message is entirely spent. I liked him (and still like some of his older stuff) because it was such a fuck you to a lot of the elements of society that I personally have felt alienated by. And when you're an angsty gothic 15-year-old, it feels pretty good to have someone on your side.

Even if he were still making music that was really geared toward making a statement about the world (as opposed to wangsting about his personal life in entirely uninteresting and unoriginal ways) those messages, now, are everywhere, and no longer as shocking to people. Thus his appeal kind of goes down the shitter.

He is not a good musician, nor is he someone I want to watch for six minutes while he stares through pounds of makeup at a camera, singing about how bad his relationships are and his drug-related issues and how being a big rock star sucks cry cry cry. I'm sure he's got problems, but who the fuck cares? If he's not actively being a pain in the ass of the people I don't/didn't like and it's not ten years ago, then he's not doing what he does best and therefore needs to gtfo my screen before I punch him in the contact lens.

So, I unexpectedly won this little theatre scholarship. It's like $250, so I can use it for like, a textbook in college, but even so! xD I did college auditions purely for the practice at the South Carolina Theatre Association a couple weeks ago, unaware they even give out stuff for doing that (besides a bunch of schools I don't really care about going to adding me to their mailing lists...) and I won an award. Sweeeet. :D

Getting ready for a big day.

( Under here )

I don't like the way my friends act now that they're in college. Not all of them of course. But a lot of them just irritate me.

It's not that they're different... it's that I absolutely cannot stand the way they're so reckless just because they're not living at home anymore. I already know: most people do that. Apparently it doesn't matter what kind of freshman you are, it automatically means you think you're the shit now that you get to play with big kids. I get the psychology behind it. And in some cases I don't even blame the people who act that way. But it's still ANNOYING.

I'm not really talking about people who just enjoy their independence. Everyone should be able to feel that way. That's cool. No worries. I'm going to be like that. What bothers me is the people who are being promiscuous and using drugs and doing all this ridiculous crap...and then thinking it makes them interesting. Where does one begin, correcting that assumption.

I know I'm overreacting, but I can't help the way I feel. xD A bunch of my friends just kinda suck now, and that pisses me off frankly. They're not really that different, I guess, but the new... extracurricular stuff they're into is just really unfortunate and I don't want to hear about it. But it's what they talk about now, and, and. :(

Not everyone is being shitty. Actually a lot of my college friends seem like they're doing really well. Dillon is doing really well. I'm really only talking about a couple people here, admittedly, but this whole thing just gets on my nerves, and I think I'm going to stop talking about it in order to chill out.



...

Okay, one last thing: DRUGS MAKE YOU STUPID AND BORING. SEX ISN'T THAT INTERESTING A TOPIC ONCE YOU'VE BEEN FAMILIARIZED WITH IT ALREADY. BE YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE AMAZING THAT WAY. DAMMIT.


/retard

I definitely stalked a couple answers to this question before deciding to answer it.

I used to stalk some of my exes. I'm still interested in the things they post, in that when I catch them on my Facebook news feed or whatever, my eyes are more attracted to whatever they have to say than some other people. But I don't really seek anyone out anymore. I don't GO to their pages and look at their shit unless it's already right in front of my face.

I don't think it's very healthy OR amusing, unless you are completely over the person. Then the only amusement one can derive from something like this pretty much boils down to "thank god I'm not dating THAT anymore. Look at his hair. His hair, it makes me lol."

But if you are compelled to stalk someone, it probably means you're not over them, so you definitely shouldn't.

I do, however, occasionally wind up looking at pictures belonging to people I don't actually know. xD Sometimes a picture one of my friends commented on (but aren't actually in) shows up in my highlights or whatever, and it catches my eye, and I wind up totally checking out So-And-So who lives in Long Beach, California and has a cat named Poopypoops. And it's totally creepy and weird. xD But I say if you're gonna have a Facebook, be prepared to be Erynn-stalked if your pics look interesting, goddamnit.

As for ex-boyfriends, I have the same amount of interest in them that I do any other old friend who I was close to at some point.

And before you go, "Oh YEAH?! What about EX-GIRLFRIENDS?!! Ha! Got you there, stalker!" I can honestly tell you I don't have any ex-girlfriends. All the girls I've ever been with, I'm still with, and Dillon understands. ;P

Keep updating your journals! There is a fucking video on my friends page that starts on its own and the sudden random music confuses and annoys me.

I could temporarily watch a community with a lot of posts but that would confuse and annoy me as well because I HATE COMMUNITY ENTRIES except the ones I don't.

But those are few and far between. Always the ones that don't update often, actually. Thus useless for this purpose.

Inconsiderate video-posters. Bah!



...This isn't a real rant, in case you were wondering. But if you interesting folks out there (all of you) wanted to post more in the near future, I'd be cool with that.

I'd read it.

And comment.

Well, I would read it, at least.

SAT was this morning. I feel like I did pretty well, actually. It's a good feeling to have accomplished something anyway. :P

I don't think either section (math vs. English) is more challenging, per se, than the other, but I do notice that I work much faster through the English than the math. My brain is just more wired for it I guess. :P I must say, though, that I'm glad I've paid more attention in my math classes this and last year than I have in previous times... Not only is it actually kinda useful, but I actually find it somewhat fun (weirdly enough.) I'm NOT a math person, but I don't despise it how I once did.